When humor goes, there goes civilization. ~Erma Bombeck




January 16, 2009

Max and his Orange Chicken

Today Taylor was running errands and decided to bring us home Orange Chicken from Panda Express.

We were ever so appreciative.

This however reminded me of my nephew Max. He is the last one in the line up there. (Excuse the picture. The kids were arrested at our last family party. You can see the one on the left Zach, is clearly tipsy. Tonio is experienced with the whole turn to your left, o.k. , turn to your right thing so he was one step ahead of everyone else.)


Anyway, Max love, love, loves, him some Orange Chicken. To his great delight last summer a Chinese couple moved in next door. He put two and two together and figured he had a pretty sweet deal going .

Max is a go getter so he just marched himself next door, sat down at the kitchen table and asked this bewildered woman if she would kindly make him some Orange Chicken.

Meanwhile his grandpa is outside looking for him, when he sees his new neighbor approaching with Max in tow.

She says ( with a very heavy Chinese accent) "Does this little boy live here?"

Grandpa: "Why yes he does."

Neighbor: "Well he just came over to my house and asked me to make him some Orange Chicken. We were eating Pizza."

Grandpa: Blank Stare.... I mean what's the guy gonna say to that, well give him some pizza? He's never even met this woman. He wanted to crawl under a rock.

Oh that Max, he'll go far in life.


This story reminds me of another story involving Calvin, Max's big brother.

Calvin went to visit my mom (his grandma) one day. He had to go to the bathroom, so he ran right in.

Mom, was just stepping out of the shower, with no towel I might add. (Sorry I don't have a picture of my mother naked.)

Calvin looked her up and down and said :

"Grandma I like you better with your glasses on."


This brings me to another story.

Mom was having a refrigerator delivered one afternoon, she of course was in her bedroom naked. (She rarely gets dressed.)

I don't know how, but one of the delivery men somehow thought the fridge must go down the hall and into her room.

Honest mistake, it doesn't matter that the living room is open to the kitchen and it is as plain as the nose on your face where the refrigerator goes.

Anyway the dork (delivery man) ran out of the house so fast he was a blur, it was like watching the vampires in Twilight.

He wouldn't get back out of the truck. His partner had to finish the job himself.

This is the guy, and this is how he looked as they drove off into the sunset after delivering the fridge. I know he was dumb, but I hope he is alright.

I also hope he has quit the shaking.


11 comments:

ann said...

MY GOODNESS GIRL,YOU'RE REALLY ON A ROLL.I THINK YOU MISSED YOUR CALLING.YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN A STAND-UP COMIC.TRULY FUNNY AND THE BEST THING ABOUT THEM,THEY'RE TRUE...ANN

Mama Wheaton said...

Do you have any stories about your mom, with her clothes on?

JANE said...

I have tears in my eyes...........ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You absolutely crack me up!!!!!!!!!!!

Grand Pooba said...

Are you for real? I can't believe your Max did that! That is seriously so funny! I would have died.

And then there's Calvin. I have no words for that! Wow, I bet you are never bored at your house!

Maki said...

Hello:)

Thank you so much for supporting my big day past Wednesday (sorry it's taken me a while to get here..) and sharing your story with me... My husband has suffered from seizure disorder for the past four years, so I understand how scary it is..

You have such a wonderful family!!
Have a fabulous weekend and hope to stay in touch!!

Shauna said...

Hope you have a beautiful weekend! ♥ Hugs :)

Megan said...

OMGosh! I'm seriously laughing out loud! Max. LOL *snicker* That is just hilarious!

And Calvin. Totally missing the obvious! heehee

That poor delivery man. *snicker snicker snicker*

nikkicrumpet said...

LOL I love the "glasses" story...and the delivery man had it coming for being so dense!!!

Leslie said...

hahaha, love these stories! my fave is the Chinese food one, so adorable! Why didn't that lady make that precious boy some orange chicken???? poor little thing...

Sarah said...

Showing some SITS love!
Funny story...so cute!

Sarah said...

Showing some SITS love!
Funny story...so cute!