When humor goes, there goes civilization. ~Erma Bombeck




February 4, 2009

Today Did Not Go As Planned......

Beautiful picture isn't it. Yes. Well I took it to celebrate the fact that this horrific day is almost over. I can do a little blogging and go veg out in MY room in MY bed alone soon, although I know Papa has other plans as he stated to P.J. at dinner. Apparently I said something a little smarty pants and then Papa said "I am going to have to spank Nana tonight P.J." P.J. then proceeded to chant "Spank Nana" all throughout our meal. Lovely right?

Have I ever mentioned Papa is a sleep walker, sleep talker. Well he is. I could regale you for hours with all of his strange bed time stories. He started my day off with one of his episodes in the wee hours of the morning. I was laying on my left side sound asleep. Suddenly I was awakened with two large hands pressed tightly against each side of my face. These hands were trying, not trying they WERE flipping me over on to my back, using my head as the flipper. Well I of course was screaming to no avail. (People here are used to screaming in the night.)

Once flipped, Papa then gave me a HUGE smooch on the nose. Laid back. threw up his arms and yelled "Now that's what I wanted to tell every body!!!" Snoring then ensues. I am now wide awake with a wrenched back. Head flipping is not that easy. Papa is of course as usual, sound asleep. He is a freak! I think I will dedicate a day a week just to tell his freaky stories.

Then Henry woke up with Roid Rage. He has asthma and has been having a very hard time as of late so the Dr. put him on some steroids to take down the inflammation in his lungs. This was Henry.........

Papa wanting to make up for the head flipping incident volunteered to watch Henry while we went to water aerobics. No I am not going into today's session. I am not strong enough. I will say I took mom, wanting to show the old hags that I had my own old hag and maybe they would be nice. They weren't.
I came home and as promised made sugar cookies. They turned out divinely.



This was Henry...........



More cookie making. A little lunch. Some laundry.



This was Henry...............






A little more frosting of the cookies. Our friend Tatum that used to live with us. Yes someone is always living here. Well he came to show us his Sugar Bowl Ring from the U. of U. YAY Utah. Man it was gorgeous. I asked if I could have it since I fed him for a year and a half. Put up with his parade of girl friends, AND I lost my own wedding rings. He said"Yeah Right." It was a little big anyway. I sent him on his way with some cookies.




This was Henry............



I decided to go make deliveries on my own. Who am I kidding I wanted to get the HELL out of here. (I know I usually say H,E, double Hockey Sticks...... Well up yours!!!) It was great being outside in the terrible air conditions. I mean it. Anything was better than listening to Henry..
"Go AWAY"
"I want juice!"
"I don't want juice!"
"Pick me up!"
"Put me down!"
"I want to watch cartoons!"
"I don't want to watch cartoons!"
This has been his only conversation ALL DAY LONG! All the while screaming and crying. Poor Taylor!!!
Oh, and my deliveries went very well. I will be doing more.

By now you know the drill.........



Then to top it off I lost my good friend The Forever Young trimmer. It up and broke on me. It was lovely for my eye brows, if I didn't get carried away and shave half of one off, or not pay attention and take out some eye lashes.



What happened was mom was getting ready for water aerobics and ....... well I think you can figure it out. I told her " Why didn't you go get Papa's real bush trimmers." Damn woman! There I swore again. Sorry, but really can you blame me after the day I've had?





37 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I have no idea what is going on here, but I am fascinated.

andy said...

Oh.my.gosh. Totally wasn't expecting such nasty humour from your blog;) Awesome. And now I want some of your cookies. Thanks for the tease.

And I didn't clue in until now that you are Tara's mother-in-law...cool. Plus sometimes I'm a little slow on the uptake. Could be the meds, though:)

mmmmm...sugar cookies.

Oh, and Henry? Totally feel your pain. So been there.

Jolene said...

I hope you get some better sleep tonight, all by yourself...
Oh and those cookies look delicious.

The Wife O Riley said...

That was hysterical!!!!! I seriously have to wipe Pepsi off my monitor after that last picture! Which reminds me, when did I make that wax appointment for?

Poor Henry, I wish I could blame the steroids when my children act that way, but I can't. They're just not raised right. LOL!!!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Sorry to hear that Henry is having such a hard time. I think he might have been channeling my boy today. When it rains, it pours, my friend.

Better luck (to us both) tomorrow.

-Francesca

PS: I checked my front door, but didn't see my sugar cookie delivery. Are you just planning to deliver tomorrow? I'll be waiting. :)

michelle hays said...

hahaha!

*sigh*

...henry...

michelle hays said...

hahaha!

*sigh*

...henry...

michelle hays said...

hahaha!

*sigh*

...henry...

michelle hays said...

whoa! That came up an awful lot of times!

hahaha!

*sigh*

...henry...

Megan said...

SO frickin hilarious! OMGosh. Totally cracking UP! Hahahaha Sounds like you've got quite the adventures at your house! LOL

tara @ kidz said...

Tami this was hands down the funniest thing I've seen/heard/read/whatever today. And then because Henry gave me his miserable cold, I have smoker's laugh, and then that was so funny that it beat out the hilarity of your post.

Wow Grandma Judy's got good abs! Unfortunate pub issues going on, but good abs.

And, ahem, I don't recall receiving a sugar cookie delivery. I'm so not letting it go either. (Insert arms folded/pissed off pose, and foot tapping here).

Mrs. Jelly Belly said...

I am laughing so hard I don't even know what to say.

Papa, Henry, Sugar Bowl Ring, Henry, your own old hag, Henry, forever young trimmers, Henry...hilarious!

Thanks for the laughs.

Yaya said...

Hahahahahaha! Great post!

Hula's Secret Blog said...

LOVE the retelling of your hubby's midnight smooch! Ha!

Carolyn said...

Fabulous. Love it.

Sounds like a regular day to me :)

Debbie said...

The head flipping is too funny. Bless your heart! And sorry to hear about Henry.

Anna Lefler said...

Love your blog!

Thanks for stopping by mine and becoming a follower - I really appreciate that!

Take care and see you soon...

:^) Anna

Emma said...

seriously how long have I known you and i don't even get cookies!! That has to be one of the disadvantages of living thousands of miles away. I am trying to decide if they out weigh all of the positive ;)!!!! Man do I miss your sugar cookies I guess I will have to go make some. We do need your cookie recipe however. I already have your disfunctional frosting recipe and it is my fav!!!!

Emma said...

Just found the cookie recipem maybe i need ot look before I start jabbering!!! Love your post and I have to say I think Baxter takes after Mike we should get togeher and swap stories!!!!

JANE said...

ROFL so much all the kids ran over to have a look!!! No, I did not read it to them so you're safe for now, LOL!!!!

Carole said...

LOL Hope all is well. I will have to post about my dad sleeping and trying to start a boat engine in his sleep with my Moms hair!! Your an inspiration!!

carole
xoxo

Live.Love.Eat said...

LOL. Hope you have better days! Funny pics, especially the last one!!!!!

Bonnie the Boss said...

The cookies look amazing1 Poor you and Henry. I had the same problem when I was on steroids, plus many others. Check with the doctor about something to help him sleep. It can't hurt to ask. I will look forward to other sleep walking stories.

Andrea said...

Your cookies *do* look divine. Hope today goes better for you.

And yes, you should dedicate a day a week to sleep stories.

Cynthia said...

I tried not to laugh at the visual you created with the head flipping story but it was pretty funny.

Sorry you had a crappy day. Good thing that was YESTERDAY now!

Pineapple Hill said...

Nana you are the best! I can't stop laughing. You really got me there at then end! Cute post. Poor Henry.. Yummy cookies. Now I'm so craving them. Thanks for the laugh. It did me good!

Keri said...

You brought me to tears with this one. Tears of intense laughter!!! I couldn't stop! You are a frickin' RIOT! Love, LOVE it!

MommaKiss said...

Oh My - bush trimmers indeed! Funny stuff - smarty pants :p Thanks for stopping by!

MommaKiss said...

PS. Do your kids know you write? This is hysterical stuff.

Lisa Loo said...

Well--if you died tomorrow--what a legacy treasure you would leave for your posterity! I came over here because of your comment on crumpets blog after you posted your comment twice--YOU KILL ME!! Taking your Mom to water class so you could show them you had your own hag----HILARIOUS!!!! And the head flipping hubby and roid rage ----I AM SOOO GLAD I FOUND YOU!!!! (Oh--and please don't die until the day after tomorrow at the earliest--I'd hate to be a crazy prophetess or something.)

nikkicrumpet said...

Poor Henry....I want some of those cookies soooo damn bad...sugar cookies are my fav! And that last picture totally knocked me off my chair laughing...but then you always do!

Jamie said...

Okay Nana, another 'just ain't right' picture...haha...now I must 'follow' you because you are too damn funny :-)

Jamie said...

Oh, and Poor Henry!!!

Mona said...

Can..I borrow some of what's in that last picture. Mine's gone!
As I have said "age just beats the hell out of you!"

Mona said...

Oops! Forgot my cookie! You did say I could have one ..didn't you?

ann said...

Poor baby.You need a bubble bath,some candles and soft music and a jug of whiskey...ann

ann said...

Poor baby.You need a bubble bath,some candles and soft music and a jug of whiskey...ann