When humor goes, there goes civilization. ~Erma Bombeck




August 18, 2009

A.S.S. oops I mean I.R.S.

Well, well, well, where the H E double toothpicks was this book a couple of months ago. If you have not guessed we are going through an audit. I trully believe I am going to have a nervous break down. Even though my shrink tells me that is impossible, if all of your nerves broke down you would be dead, or so he says. I think it is going to happen!!





This cartoon should be called "Bend Over and Bear It" in this certain situation. This is how Papa's days at the office have been going lately, especially today. He thought it was strange when the I.R.S Agent showed up with a crane this morning, hooked him up and began doing this.....





Yes, the crane has a big hand like that and everything. Last week we thought everything was going to be pretty much o.k. This agent ( I know she is just doing her job.) Keeps changing things up on us. " I need this year." " Now I need that year." "O.k. Papa give me another year." Papa has now given her the best years of his life. I have finally found a good weight loss system. It's called " When the I.R.S. Comes Calling, You start Pooping Your Pants Diet"


This whole thing is a long story which I will bore none of you with, but we thought we were doing everything right, minding our own business then......



squish.


Today has not been my best. All I ask is if you see Papa or myself begging for money downtown (Pooba) please give us a couple of bucks. I won't have some ridiculous story about my car engine breaking down and I need to get to Las Vegas. My story will be the I.R.S stopped by and my nerves broke down, I'm living in a box and my feet stink.


I have heard stories like this, what we are going through and I always think " Oh you poor schmuck, glad that has never happened to me."
O.k. I'm done with my pity party. (at least here on the blog) Thanks for letting me vent a little and save every receipt you ever get and every check you ever write. Just read the book I guess.




15 comments:

Kristina P. said...

How scary! And good luck!

Honestly, if we were every audited, we would be screwed. I don't keep every single little receipt.

Connie said...

We've been through an audit and it STINKS! What a waste of your valuable time, finding this receipt and looking through that file and finding the nearest bathroom!
I hope it turns out better for you than it did for us...wait...I want to make you feel better...uh...I'm sure everything will be JUST FINE!!

GOOD LUCK!

The Garden of Egan said...

Oh hell....o! That is awful! I'm sorry but I think your title is totally right on. It is too bad when our government pays for such disorganized crime! Hugs and prayers to you.

Kelly said...

That stinks. Hope it works out just fine!

Kathy B! said...

Eeek! I have terrible fear of the IRS. It all seems so random. And I don't ever think I've heard someone come through an audit without getting fleeced.

Scary stuff.

Midwest Mommy said...

I am hoping because we never really claim anything and take the standard deduction I am ok, lol. Good luck just thinking about it makes me nervous.

Andrea said...

Ouch! Hope it works out all right.

The Wife O Riley said...

As far as I'm concerned, being audited is right up there with being falsely imprisoned for murder in the scary factor. In fact I do believe that's what the original storyline was for The Fugitive. Dr. Richard Kimble standing on that waterfall yelling "I did not take that deduction!!"

Mimi Sue said...

What you are going through is my husbands biggest fear. So sorry you have to put up with the IRS. That just stinks. Mimi

Mary said...

Well, that just sucks. But, you're still funny in the midst of it all, so some nerves must've stuck around! Hope it all works out okay.

Anne Fannie said...

We got audited once at our business and I confused the guy and made him so uncomfortable (on purpose) so bad that he finally gave up on us! Also, this is great..... I was told to put him in room to do the audit with no A/C, make it miserable and then make him look for stuff and he will finally give up on you. LOL It was great!

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Oh God! Been there, done that! Poor sweet baby, I understand!

Jane In The Jungle said...

Whoa girl I would freak!!!! Man what a diet!

Deanna said...

My worst fear is an IRS audit and I don't know why. I report everything but it still scares me to death. You would think in these times they would concentrate on the big fish and leave us little folk alone. Good luck!

Small House said...

YIKES! I am helping with an audit at work, which is insane, HOWEVER...I'd be a wreck if it was a personal one!!!!!!!

I had to laugh reading H-E double hockey sticks. I SAY THIS ALL THE TIME!!!! It's a favorite.
Sandra