I mean a girl gets tired once in a while and needs a little break. (Of course if he really wanted a break I would be highly offended but, don't tell him that.)
I know daughters, TMI. Anyway none of my techniques worked.
I tried the whole hairy leg technique. Nope, turned him on.
Tried not showering. Turns out he likes dirty girls.
Then tonight something happened.... I found something that will truly keep your man away. I found this out by accident but, hey, what ever works.
Our deer friends have returned to our garden so, Papa and I were out back spraying Cougar Urine on these little swabs of material that you hang in your trees and bushes. Well, I was spraying Cougar urine while Papa watched.
Yes, this is a true story. This is the brand we are using. It is extremely aromatic. I was being very careful to pay attention to which way the wind was blowing during this task. However, I was not careful enough.
I sprayed...... there was a wind change....... Urine right in my face, mouth, hair , chest etc. I started screaming and spitting. Papa called me a doomass.
I yelled " Pfft (spit noise) Pfft Eeeww come smell me!"
Now, remember we live in the city in a very urban area. Our yard is not totally fenced in and our neighbors are very close. I am sure we put on a pretty good show.
Papa: " I can smell you from here, stay away from me!
So naturally I started chasing him. By the way our cat was out there frozen in fear by the smell emanating in the yard. The dog was completely intrigued and wanted to pee on me.
Papa was running for his life. I was chasing Papa and the dog was chasing me. The cat was still frozen in terror.
As we were running in circles Papa had the nerve to pick up a stake yes, a big long tomato stake and started coming at me with it. ( I truly believe he was going to put it through my heart! I've seen Dracula.)
Well, that was just rude so I yelled " I'm wearing this to bed tonight you dirty bastard!!!!!!!
(yes, I swear sometimes, I am trying to get kicked out of Relief Society)
Then it occurred to me, after 30 years I have found a way to keep Papa away!!! Ha ha ha. The only problem is I would have to smell it too, plus my tongue went numb. (Not kidding!) What really made me mad was the fact that I just had my hair colored today and that stuff better not mess with my color.
So, if your desperate for a good nights sleep and believe me you would have to be desperate, just spray on a little Harmon's Cougar pee. It will keep your man at bay. If this stuff doesn't keep those deer out of my garden I don't know what will.
I better go see if my cat has dared move yet.