When humor goes, there goes civilization. ~Erma Bombeck

February 28, 2018

Next month I turn 60 and it is not sitting well with me like 20, 30, 40 and even 50 did. It is not rolling off of my tongue, It gets stuck in the back of my throat when I go to say it. Six, six, si, sixty, Ack. I am having a mid life crisis about it. I know you might be thinking well, that means your jumping off point would be 120. I did not say I made sense besides it is my crisis and I can say what I want about it. I feel like I am 40 so it is mid life. Now, before I go forward those close to me will now be saying, "wasn't it just last week you were in the E.R. thinking you were having a heart attack?" yes, yes it was. That did indeed happen. I also had to go have a stress test which I breezed through. However I must say I did not enjoy the fact that the technicians were 14 years old and I think the cardiologist looked to be around maybe 18. I had to take off everything from my waist up and wear a lovely hospital robe backwards so they could glue all sorts of probes to my chest whilst trying to act like they could not see my big 60 year old bosoms. They did a good job until....after the work out on the treadmill. Let me back up for a moment. A mini flash back if you will. In the room is a treadmill, a bed and an ultrasound machine. ( your average bedroom) They hook you up to all these probes as I mentioned, lay you on the bed, have you roll onto your left side. Then tell you to tuck your left arm up under your head, and lay your right arm along your right side. Everything seems quite copasetic. The tech then pulls out what looks like a large cloth diaper to cover said bosoms and tells me part of the bed here will now collapse so I can get a up under your chest for a good picture of the heart. I am thinking Oh, alright, as long as I am covered up I am dandy. The ultrasound was actually interesting. Then onto the treadmill. While on the treadmill I am told that after it is over I must jump back on the bed and hastily return back to the left side position as they have only 1 minute to ultrasound the heart as it is pumping at it's maximum. Again I am thinking alright no problem. Everything was great until what I thought was a shocking wardrobe malfunction. I got in position, robe wide open, collapsed bed. He starts probing. I am trying to breath and I am thinking, where is the big diaper? I am hanging out all over. Did I shave my arm pits? Is my boob on the floor? Should a 14 yr. old have a job like this? You dirty little buggers knew this was going to happen and did not tell me this part. Well, I got over it.  I realized they have had to have seen much worse. Everything turned out great the heart looked fantastic. So,  now we are onto maybe Esophageal spasms. Who knows.  I must say though if I die, when I am going towards the light, I am going to turn around and yell really loud " I told you ----------- I was having a heart attack!!!!!!!"
Now, back to my crisis and, yes I know this post is all about me and I don't care. I am in crisis. Do not get me wrong I am thankful to be alive. Until those heart attacks start up. Anyway, In 20 years I will be 80. Twenty years goes by like the blink of an eye. I mean I just moved into my brand new house 20 years ago. I felt I would be so much more accomplished at this age than I am. We did just buy a trailer. I thought I would be in much better shape. There is a lady in yoga, she looks to be around 70 she is in fantastic shape. She might be dead by now though I haven't been to yoga for a year. I don't know Spanish. Mike (Papa) and I took lessons it was a disaster. He just sounded like Brad Pitt in "Inglorious Bastards" trying to speak German. I pretty much don't remember much more than "taco." I thought I would know the Bible better.  If I don't die soon I have a lot to do. My kids did make me feel a lot better though. I was talking to them the other night and they said "look at your family."  I do have great kids and even better grandkids. Just thinking about them all makes me cry. They are good. We did something right. In all honesty if that is all I accomplished in this life then I am thrilled beyond words. I look forward to 80.

May 4, 2013

Streusel Rhubarb Dessert Squares

Streusel Rhubarb Dessert Squares
1 C. All Purpose flour
1/3 C. powdered sugar
1/2 C. butter : still a little cold, not quite room temp.
1 1/2 C. sugar
1/4 C. flour
1/2 t. salt
2 eggs, slightly beaten
3 C. fresh or frozen coarsely chopped rhubarb
3/4 C. All Purpose flour
1/2 C. sugar
1/4 t. cinnamon
1/3 C. butter : still cold
Heat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly spoon flour into measuring cup, level off. In medium bowl, combine 1 cup flour and powdered sugar. Using pastry blender, cut in 1/2 cup butter until crumbly. Press in bottom of ungreaseed 9 X 13 pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.
In medium bowl, combine all filling ingredients, blend well. Pour over partially baked crust. In medium bowl, combine all topping ingredients to form crumbs, sprinkle over rhubarb mixture. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 - 55 minutes. or until topping is light golden brown and rhubarb is tender.
There you go Megan. Enjoy!!!!

March 10, 2013

Chocolate Malt Cake

I thought you needed a close up too.
This is another wonderful cake. Of course, or I would not be posting it!
I tried to find colored malted milk eggs since it is Easter time and well, who ever the delivery boy is at the grocery must think we all wanted crushed colored malted eggs. Every bag I picked up were a big mess.
Here goes:
2 1/4 C. all purpose flour
1 1/4 C. sugar
3/4 C. unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 t. baking soda
1 t. baking powder
1/2 t. salt
1 C. milk
1 C. malted milk powder
1 C. vegetable oil
3 large eggs
1 C. sour cream
1 t. vanilla extract
Chocolate Malt Icing
(recipe follows)
Garnish: malted milk balls
Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour 3 (9 - inch) cake pans.
In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.
In a small bowl, combine milk and malted milk powder, stirring to dissolve. Add milk mixture, oil, and eggs to flour mixture, beating at medium speed with an electric mixer until smooth. Add sour cream and vanilla, beating just until combined. Pour batter evenly into prepared pans, and bake for 20 minutes, or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Let cool in pans for 10 minutes. Remove cakes from pans and let cool completely on wire racks. Spread Chocolate Malt Icing between layers and on top and sides of cake. Garnish with malted milk balls, if desire.
Chocolate Malt Icing:
1 C. butter, softened
1/2 C. unsweetened cocoa powder
3/4 C. heavy whipping cream
1/2 cup malted milk powder
5 C. confectioners sugar
In a large bowl, beat butter and cocoa powder at medium speed with an electric mixer until creamy.
In a small bowl combine cream and malted milk powder, stirring to dissolve. Add cream mixture to butter mixture, beating at low speed to combine. Gradually beat in confectioners sugar until smooth.
NOTE: Next time I am going to double the frosting. Not only for the cake but for graham cracker cookies. YUM!

February 5, 2013

Chicken Pot Pie

I got this recipe fromhttp://www.lanascooking.com on Pinterest.
I tweaked it a little bit for my families liking, or I should say mine. Anyway, Papa went crazy for it!
Here goes:
3 carrots, peeled and diced
2 medium potatoes, peeled and diced
1/2 an onion, diced
2 TBS. butter
2-3 TBS. oil
Rotisserie chicken. Take about 2 C. of the meat and chop into bite size pieces. Use more if you want to. ( Harmon's one of our local grocery stores has there rotisserie chickens on sale for 5.00 on Mondays)
2 tsp. salt, divided
1/2 tsp. ground black pepper
2 TBS. flour
1 1/2 C.  1/2 and 1/2 or whole milk
1/2 to 1 C. sliced fresh mushrooms
1 C. frozen peas
Package frozen puff pastry, thawed
Cooking spray
1 egg
1 tsp. water
Preheat oven to 425 degrees
Place carrots, potatoes and onion in a microwave safe bowl. Cover with plastic wrap.
Microwave on high for 8 minutes. Veggies won't be cooked all the way through, but that is o.k. they will finish cooking during the baking process.
Heat butter and oil in large skillet over medium-high heat.
Add the flour with 1 teas. salt and pepper. Stir and mix well, you will be making a rue. You will want to turn down the heat, as the flour will begin to brown if you don't. You have to work kind of fast during this process. After the flour, butter, and oil are mixed well and there are no lumps,
slowly pour in the milk stirring constantly, until well mixed , turning the heat back up slowly so the flour and milk mixture will thicken and start to bubble a little bit.
When mixture is thickened, add chicken.
Then add the carrots, potatoes, onions, mushrooms, peas and salt and pepper to taste.
Stir gently to combine all the ingredients.
Unfold the thawed puff pastry onto a lightly floured surface. Roll pastry to seal any cracks.
There will be two folded sections of pastry dough in the package you will do this to both of them.
Spray your cooking dish with cooking spray
Then fill the dish with the meat and veggie mixture.
Top the dish with the puff pastries. I put one on one half of the dish and one on the other. Slightly overlapping them on the top. Then I cut any dough hanging from the dish. I left about a one inch hang over.
Cut a vent into the top of the pastry dough. 
Beat the egg and water together in a small bowl. Brush over the pastry.
Place the prepared pot pie on a baking sheet. Bake for 10 minutes.
Cover the pastry loosely with aluminum foil to prevent burning and cook for an additional 15 minutes.
Take aluminum off of the pie and cut a hole in the middle of it. Cover the pastry loosely again. Exposing the middle of the pie with the hole in the foil. This will enable the middle of the crust to brown and cook a little bit more.
Bake another 10 minutes, or until the middle is as brown as you want it.
Remove from the oven and allow to cool for at least 10 minutes before serving.
This was worth it!
It was delicious!!

Easy Delicious Lasagna

I made this at Christmas time for my daughter and son in law. They loved it.
So did I!
Here goes:
1  15 oz. container ricotta cheese
1  8 oz. container soft onion and chive cream cheese
1/4 C. chopped fresh basil
1/2 t. garlic salt
1/2 t. pepper
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 C. shredded mozzarella cheese, divided
1  3 oz. package shredded Parmesan cheese, divided ( I used at least an 8 oz. bag or larger I can't remember but, 3 oz. is just not enough for my liking)
2  26oz. bottles tomato basil pasta sauce, divided
1 package lasagna pasta
2 lbs. ground sirloin, cooked and seasoned to taste with salt and pepper and garlic salt.
Cook Lasagna Pasta according to package directions, drain and set aside.
( I cook the lasagna pasta about 1/2 the time the package calls for. This makes the pasta easier to handle. It will continue cooking when baking in the oven after all mixed together with the Lasagna.)
Stir together first 6 ingredients until blended. Stir in 1/2 C. mozzarella cheese and 1/2 C. Parmesan cheese, set aside.
Spread 1 C. pasta sauce in a lightly greased 13 X 9 inch baking dish.
Take pasta strips and arrange over pasta sauce. To cover dish. It is o.k. if they over lap a bit.
Top with meat.
Spoon 3 C. pasta sauce over meat, and sprinkle with 3/4 C. mozzarella cheese. Arrange another layer of pasta over mozzarella. Spread ricotta cheese mixture over pasta, top with remaining pasta sauce.
Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour. Top with remaining mozzarella and Parmesan cheese.  Bake 10 more minutes.
Let stand 15 minutes before serving
Makes about 8 servings.
Hope you love it!

October 12, 2012

It's Coming

I love Halloween!

August 23, 2012

Love my front porch. The dogs are o.k. too.