When humor goes, there goes civilization. ~Erma Bombeck

December 22, 2008

When The Smoke Cleared....

This past weekend has been a whirlwind of parties. I am party pooped and there is more coming.

my family
First we had P.J.'s Birthday party. The next night we had our Big family Christmas party. The next night was our little family Christmas party. Too Much!!!
P.J. and Papa

I want to concentrate today on our Big Family Christmas Party.

We had the party at my single brother Matt's house. Mom and I were going to go a few hours early and clean but, he assured us the place was all spiffed up. We were a little sceptical to say the least. Let's just say at his house, when you drop some sort of food there should in no circumstances ever be a 10 second rule.

Of course it was snowing like a ... well it was snowing. However, with Papa's fab driving skills we made it to the party on time.

The house WAS spiffy. The dog, cats, rooster and chickens were all outside. There was a wonderful fire going in the fire place. It was oh so cozy.

I went in the kitchen to unload all of my industrial strength containers, which Papa assured me would keep everything in place during our journey to Matt's house. Imagine my surprise when I saw that the Au jus sauce for our French Dip sandwiches had leaked into the brownies. (Crap)Well I thought I just wouldn't tell anyone, they'll never notice. (like the time my mom and her friends made ice cream with salt, those crazy gals)

At the same time I was noticing my little sauce problem, thick black smoke was bellowing out of Matt's fireplace. What could be the problem the flu, flew (whatever) was open. It was probably just a family of Raccoons living it up in the chimney.

To our shock and horror Matt raced outside grabbed a metal garbage can, ran back inside threw the fireplace screen across the room and tried to pick up the blazing log with the fire poker. Well he got half of it. Threw it in the garbage can and raced back outside.

Meanwhile the fire inside the fireplace was raging now, so we were opening windows like mad men. Looking on the plus side though, now we had a raging fire blazing outside too. It actually came in handy because Santa called and was lost. I heard my sister in law on the phone telling him ,"well just look for the house with the fire in the front yard." Poor Santa....

The fire inside was not going to go away, so Matt being the brilliant man he is ( Haven't I already established that? I wonder why he is single?) threw a bucket of water on it. Now we were all in a smokey steam bath. We hear 'Ding Dong' (doorbell) the door swings open and we hear "HO HO Cough, gag HO." "Oh boy it's Santa."

The steam slowly subsided while we gagged out Christmas Carol's for Santa Claus, who was holding his beard up over his nose.

The kids were thrilled, they took turns on Santa's lap, telling him their hopes and dreams. We sang again and Santa left. A trail of smoke following him to his sleigh.

Now it was time for dessert. Brownies topped with Peppermint ice

You don't know this post has taken me all day to finish. Early this morning while I was writing this titillating story my doorbell started ringing like there was a crazy person outside. I thought well it's either mom or mom and it was mom. There she stood with her hair in curlers, she was wearing her little blue robe. Behind her, the driveway was smeared with blood and there was a suspicious looking garbage bag sitting right in the middle of it all. I could only assume it was what was left of my father."Is Mike still home?" She asks. I say " That depends did you kill dad?"My thinking was, well she took care of dad, Mike may be next. That was when she showed me her leg, with a huge gash in it pumping out blood like she had turned on a faucet. ( she is on blood thinners)I invited her in but she declined, she did not want to mess up my floor. (She has always been a good housekeeper.) She sat on the front porch in the snow, her robe up around her waist by now. I ran and got Mike, some towels and took a whiff of my smelling salts. Mike threw her in the bed of the truck and they were off to the hospital

I went to Costco.

Ten stitches later mom was home. She is resting now cracking jokes about me making blood pudding for Christmas. ( Vomit.)

We have had neighbors dropping by with gifts. Christmas carolers bearing cookies just left. All in all a good day.

Now back to our story...

cream covered in Hot Fudge. I immediately noticed my brownie tasted beefy. Then I heard others stating the same thing. " Pour more Hot Fudge on it." I cried. It didn't work. They are not as dumb as they look. We threw our dessert away. Some die hards finished theirs off but, all in all it was not yummy at all. (Nana has a hard time when stuff like that happens!!)

Never travel with French Dip Sauce. It is a stay at home meal!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was still a great party! Here are my little sweetie's with Santa.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Lisa @ Serah's said...

What an adventure! haha Beautiful picture of your family.

Messy Jess said...

oh, it so made my day to hear about yours! Merry Christmas!