When humor goes, there goes civilization. ~Erma Bombeck

January 2, 2009

Ummmmmm..... Whose Watching the Kids?

Max.......ine? My nephew.

Pet.....unia? My grandson.

Papa that's whose watching the kids.
First of all, I have to say Papa is high, really.
He thought this was hilarious. See these two didn't get to dress like girls on Christmas day like Henry did.
They wanted their day in the sun.
Or I should say Papa wanted to make my brother crazy. (he's a little homophobic)
So Papa in his altered state insisted I put this on my blog. TADA... here it is.
Papa had sinus surgery on New Years Eve. (He has always known how to show me a good time!)
While he was incapacitated. I went to the hospital cafeteria (which smelled vaguely like bum) I told myself it was the blue cheese at the salad bar.
I decided to have a sandwich. I asked the gentleman behind the counter "What kind of cheeses do you have?"
He said "These ones right here."
I said " Well I believe, one of them looks like cheddar, could you tell me what the others are?"
The gentleman said " Duh" (add a blank stare to the duh) maybe Provolone..........and.......duh."
I quickly said "I'll take the Provolone and could you try not to touch my sandwich, maybe I should just come back there and make it myself."
He said "Duh."
He made the sandwich.
I went and got a Pepsi, a very large one. It overflowed and I made a big mess, as I attempted to clean up the mess I sat my drink down on the shelf of the pop machine and accidentally hit the Mountain Dew lever. Now I had a Pepsi, Mountain Dew. I tried to dump it but I was being watched by the cashier.
I dumped half of it out, then sat my drink down again, this time hitting the lemonade lever. Now I had a Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Lemonade.
I looked at the sandwich man and said "Duh."
I then went to the cashier and actually paid for all that crap. I ate some of it. I drank some of it. It was not yummy!
I was called to the recovery room, Papa was finished with surgery. Finally!! ( I hate when he puts me out. I mean I have a life too.)
Papa started signing (yes sign language, we teach it to the grand kids) that he had to go potty.
I said "You are aware you can speak aren't you?"
Then he threw up. ( I guess he couldn't speak.)
We eventually made it home and had a very romantic New Year's Rockin Eve. (yeah right) At 9:00 P.M. I gave P.J. and Henry some Pot lids, we went out on the deck , banged our lids, yelled and whooped it up a bit.
They went to bed and for the next three hours Papa, myself, Pete and Taylor watched "Clean House." ( It's on the Style channel, of course because if we are anything it's stylish.)
At midnight we said "Yay we can go to bed now."
That was it, our big celebration. Maybe I should have taken some of Papa's pain pills.
He sure is having a good time with them, hence the above pictures.
Hey everybody I found a great giveaway!
It's at http://aprildurham.blogspot.com/2009/01/new-years-giveaway.html (whew I'm exhausted, I hope that's the right link!)


JANE said...

OK this has to be the funniest post I've read since I started following you!! I am ROFL, Big Time!!!!!! Did you really ask the guy to not touch your sandwich.....LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! And man you can mix a drink can't ya!!
Loved It!!!

tara @ kidz said...

Oh my heck MAX especially looks funny with his long hair up in ponytails and that boa! Oh NANA!

Emma said...

Brian appreciated your cafeteria experience as he has had many similar. We all got a good laugh at Mike signing! Poor Mike!!!

nikkicrumpet said...

LOL I love the whole "torture the kids dad" take on dressing up...or is that cross dressing up! Ya gotta love a Grandpa like that. Actually this whole post made me *snort* and *guffaw*. Where the heck have you been and why did it take this long to find you!

Anonymous said...

Lol...funny post. We had about the same New Years Eve.

Maggii said...

LOL..too funny!! Popped over from SITS, and glad I did!

Jolene said...

LOL You make me laugh!

You have an award waiting for you over on my blog!

salmagundi said...

Thanks for stopping at my blog. I sure enjoyed reading yours - gave me a giggle (or two, or three -------). Have a great weekend. Sally

Lisa Loo said...

TOO FUNNY!!! I had to read through it a couple times to get all the funnies. I am a little slow on the uptake. I love the cafetieria story best--but the huuby on pain meds, signing, barfing and encouraging the children to cross dress is a close second! Definitely one for the best posts column!

Mama Wheaton said...

First I must say I love (really I love) your choices in music! Now with that out of the way it sounds like our actual News Year Eve was the same, nothing to exciting. Hope the boys don't make dressing up a habit!

The Veale's said...

Oh Nana...that was pretty funny to read. Hope Mike looks back at what he has done to those poor boys...I mean girls!

Susy said...

lol....needed to smile!