We have plans for later in the day, but before that all goes down. I thought I would give you a little insight as to who my mother is. This will also explain why I have so many problems.
For example one day while at a local department store, while in the shoe department she was doing a little looking around. The shoe salesman approached and asked if he could help her. She replied. " I don't know, you see I have a really high crotch." She meant to say arch but, whatever. Arch, crotch you can obviously see how she could mix up the two. The shoe salesman followed her around the rest of the day.
She and I used to go on long walks a few years ago for exercise, and of course everyone knows your cows get restless if not walked at least twice a week. Anyway, as we were walking along a white car drove by. Mom smiled and gave them a great big wave. I said " Who was that?" She looked at me surprised and said "Oh I thought it was you!"
Have you ever felt invisible, you know like someone doesn't even seem to know you are there?
Then there was the day last fall when she knocked on my door. Like a fool I answered it. "Hello mom." I said, you know nothing unusual. She said to me " Do I look different in any way?" I looked her up and down and said "Well your boots are on the wrong feet."
She said " I KNOW! I have been walking around Gardner Village ( a local girls day out kind of place) all afternoon, wondering why my feet hurt so bad." Now mind you she was with at least 5 of her very best friends, complaining to them all day about how bad her feet hurt. I can't figure out why no one (mostly her) didn't at least take a look at said feet. I mean how easy would it have been to say "Hey Judy your shoes are on the wrong feet, that might be the problem." Then to top it off when she realizes shoes are not on proper feet she comes over to show me.
I said to her "What kind of friends do you have exactly. I mean last week when you came home from your little outing with them you had on one giant hoop earring and one tiny hoop earring. Are you the butt of their jokes. Are they as blind as you are? (she is blind in one eye) Are you all senile?"
You know I could go on forever, but I will save our trip to Las Vegas story for another time. Just to peak your interest though I will tell you it involves a mall, trying on shoes, pooping pants, running out of store with shoes on feet because of the accident in pants, a police pursuit, family does not know where in the heck mom disappeared to and more.
Here's to mom for all she does and for keeping us on our toes!!!!! She is going to be mad I mentioned the Las Vegas story but what are birthdays for?
I have to go now, she keeps calling to ask me what time her party is. She planned the party. My ex sister in law thought mom did this just to her. No, no, no she shares the senility with all of us.
Mom also shares the love, she has a great sense of humor and has the ability to laugh at herself. I couldn't tell these stories if she didn't.
We love you Mom , Happy 70th. ( I know you all thought she would at least be 85. )