When humor goes, there goes civilization. ~Erma Bombeck

July 28, 2010

What Is Happening?

First of all, did any of you hear about the man who called the police because he suspected his mother of cleaning the bathroom with his toothbrush?

I say what's wrong with that?
Remember Papa's party the other night.

How in the world do you think I got our patio so clean?

If the stupid thing wouldn't have broken, Papa would have never known the difference. I guess I scrubbed a little to vigorously.

I swear something has happened to that man since he came home from Mexico. I thought Mexico was supposed to make men macho.

This is what I got upon his return.

He either thinks it's siesta time or fiesta time. He can't make up his mind.

The other day I asked him to run to the store and get us some purified water. We drink purified water that we keep in gallon jugs. He went to the store and returned with TWO gallons of water.

I asked him "Why did you only get two gallons?"

He answered in all seriousness "I only have two hands!"

I  must have looked at him like SERIOUSLY!?!!!!
He then asked why I was giving him a not so friendly look.

I said "Really? You only have two hands? That's the answer you are going with?"
(I said this because I usually get the water and it is usually at least four gallons plus a crap load of groceries to go with them.)
Then I continued...."HOW MANY HANDS DO I HAVE?  That is the lamest thing I have ever heard."

He was offended.

A couple of days later he decided to go to the E.R. because he was positive he had MALARIA. I asked him if he had had a lot of trouble with mosquito's on the trip. He couldn't remember. We went on a Pioneer Trek one year where the mosquito's were so bad they carried a couple of the kids away. Seriously, we never saw them again. I think I might have seen one of them in Twilight. (Can mosquito's turn you into Vampire's?) You remember things like that!  I'm thinking, who is this wimpy man?

My body had ached for two weeks and I thought gee, I must have a little something. Well, not  poor  Papa. Not only does he have but two hands, now Malaria? How does he make it through the days?
(He does not have Malaria. In case you were wondering.)

His party turned out nicely I might add. He B.B.Q'd chicken and made his world class baked beans. I made a cherry cobbler. I also wanted to make cheese fries but, he wouldn't let me. Said I had done enough. Well of course I had. I just knew that all of those dopey men would not bring any food. Even though Papa had assigned them things to bring. I was right!!! No other food. Oh excuse me. One of them brought rolls. There were like 15 guys here and, no food!! Oh well, Papa only has two hands. What can we expect?
I will be posting my recipe for Cheese Fries. Hopefully the real Papa will be back by then.


Kristina P. said...

Definitely toothbrush cleaning worthy.

Mary at Deep South Dish said...

LOL Papa must be friends with The Cajun I swear!

Mimi Sue said...

Just wait til he retires. Then you get him 24/7. Something to look forward to. Mimi

Julie Harward said...

LOl...that was funny! Poor little tooth brush and poor hub's..hope he gets his zip a de doo da back real soon! I', amazed that they all didn't bring a bag of chips..thats what they bring and then you end up with way too many! :D

Yvonne said...

Yikes! I prefer to wait till we start using a 'new' toothbrush before redefining the new job for the 'ole' one, haha. I guess it's a nice way to get even with someone you're mad at!

Connie said...

Multi-tasking is not what men do best! How can the men bring food when they have to use their hands to drive?
btw, your patio looks great! It's well worth sacrificing a toothbrush.

blueviolet said...

So he's never seen a grocery cart, I take it?

I'm glad the party turned out so well and I can't wait to see that cheese fry recipe!

Grand Pooba said...

Ok I'm still laughing! I wish I could be a fly (no, misquito!) on the wall watching you talk to Papa!

I feel so bad for him. Only two hands and all...

Anonymous said...

Cheese fries! Holy yummmmmmm.

You're funny and you make me hungry. I like you!

Garden of Egan said...

Wow, I'm sure it was touch and go for a while with the Malaria thing. Thank goodness he's OK.

What's your address I'll send him another toothbrush. I think I have one that looks fairly unused.

Hopefully you'll get him back soon.